some snaps from last night with the gorgeous girlies

pretend you're playing twister

me, never missing the opportunity to get in a cheeky shot

show me your paws... the zookeeper with her animals

after winning the cereal box game, with the box

love xxxx

happy (premature) bday to me

I'm at my mum's for my bday tomorrow, so my dad and stepmum got me some ben and jerry's as a change from having a bday cake... I have always been a bit like the queen by having two birthdays, but yay!

Day five.

This is my favourite quote:
"Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away."

Halloween randomer

On Thursday I had a nosy around town before I started work and there was a few things that impressed me. Firstly throughout my early teens New Look was my best friend, then as I got older I was put off of it, and it just seemed... 'same same,' I still liked it don't get me wrong, there was just nothing nice. But that wasn't the case when I went in the other day, I was really impressed by the amount of gorgey bits I found in there and I have to say a lot of dollar is going to be spent in there when I get it! Then I popped into Boots where I thought I'd look at hair products, where I found Lee Stafford have a range of Moroccan oil products, which I thought could be interesting to try. They had lots of pieces with the Moroccan oil in it (I have wanted to use the branded Moroccan Oil, but I find it is rather expensive), so I thought that I might give this one a go, as it isn't as pricey. There is one thing though that I'm a bit 'hmm' about and that is for a Lee Stafford product it was steep (ie. the shampoo was close to £11), which surprised me as  Lee Stafford to me was a middle price/cheap hair product. If anyone has checked it out, give us a comment, I'd love to know your thoughts about it!
I'm in a bit of a rubbish mood to start the day, I don't know why, which is surprising as I have so much to look forward to as it is the big 'birthday weekend'.
Last night I went to Nandos with some friends, which was yummmmy. I love Nandos, and when I started my diet I said to myself that for my birthday I would go to Nandos and have what ever, not worrying-which I did. I was a little disappointed that I didn't get the chocolate cake that I had been wanting for ages, but all is well, my lovely friends got me a birthday cake (CRINGE. I hate it when people sing happy birthday I never know where to look, I feel so awkward and start blushing! The ladies at Slimming world sang it to me on Thursday too!)
Tonight my friend is having a halloween 'gathering', which I am looking forward to; however I feel as if I have the most pathetic costume going on ever as I am going as a cat, I feel so stupid. I have looked every where for makeup tutorials and the ones that I have seen, I'm not that keen on. It should be good though, I think I am meant to bring drink and food along, but have no idea what to bring, so if anyone has any ideas please comment on here and I shall read them after I finish work and hopefully be able to bring something along.

Have a lovely (and not too spooky) weekend!

Day four.

http://vinhton.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/thousand-splendid-suns-l_t325.jpg

Nicholas sparks is my favourite author, as he never fails to make me cry and smile, whilst reading his books. However, it wasn't until reading "A Thousand Splendid Suns" for literature, that I was mesmerised  by the book and just couldn't put it down. I love books that have a connection to 'reality', as this does with the Taliban and Kabul, it makes it even more emotive.

Day three.

http://blog.americansoda.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/Friends.jpg

I have lots of favourite television programmes!
But ultimately it would have to be FRIENDS. Ross is hilarious, I love them all and can see bits of my friends in the different characters, but Ross definitely wins my heart. Such a cutie.

white chocolate and lemon cup cakes

I only went and did it, I made some scrummy cakes!
I found the recipe online for these lemon and white chocolate cupcakes. The lemon part is the sponge and the white chocolate part is the icing. I slightly altered the recipe by adding more white chocolate in to the icing than what it said on the recipe, which I am glad I did. I think next time I might add some white chocolate chips into the batter too, for an extra creamy kick. Unfortunately I forgot we didn't have an icing bag so I had to spread with a spatula, they don't look too bad, in my opinion any way. If any one would like a link to the recipe then just let me know :)

browmance.

http://www.todaystrendy.com/wp-content/uploads/11011.jpg

I love a good set of brows, especially thick defined ones, which mine are not lately due to ... I wouldn't say over plucking, it's more hmm... getting a bit tweezer happy and not having the patience to spend on doing them to how I actually like them.
The gorgeous Kim K has my favourite eyebrows. I want my like this, but that would mean me going through the awkward stage of stray hairs everywhere for a while, I can see quite a few at the min, so I think I might leave them for a bit then get them waxed and dyed somewhere. I fancy getting HD ones done, but they're like £30 odd and considering the fact they grow through again ever so quickly, I don't think I could quite justify it

dm. dm.

I love to wear boots. Ever since military boots came in a few years a go, they became my go to boots, I just love them. So when I set my eyes on these boots knew I had to have them. They kept creeping up everywhere I looked, I would have snapped them up by now if they weren't £110. DM and I go back a long time now, when I was younger I had really awkward feet (HUGE) and could not find any shoes that would fit any where - I honestly can remember my mum taking me to the DM store to get my first pair. I'm considering saving up to get them, or adding them to a Christmas list... 

Image from the DM website

things never go to plan.

So my original plan for today:
Study and go for a run.

Did this happen?
Erm NOO!?!

I hate it when I make a plan of the day ahead and it never goes to plan, I still had a good day, but still NOT TO PLAN! I did no studying whatsoever today, unless you call revising the latest GLAMOUR magazine studying!
I think I kinda knew when I woke up that it was just going to be 'one of those days', as I woke up and hour and a half later than I wanted. To be fair after breakfast I did begin some research... on which MAC mascara I was going to buy, which ended up being a full which mascara am I going to buy watching tutorials and reviews on youtube.
I had to go up town to get the bus to my mum's which ended up with me popping into Superdrug; as the mascara I did buy was on offer in there (Bourjois Clubbing mascara ultra black £5.99). A trip into work to sort out my holidays for the up and coming weekend (aka BIRTHDAY WEEKEND), because I saw on the rota the other day I wasn't booked for a holiday this weekend at all! So instead of it being the whole weekend off I now have just Sunday and I am now working Thursday too! Next I thought I'd pop into Boots because I've been wanting a new perfume for a while now (I usually wear Armani diamonds/Armani code/SJP Lovely), I ended up taking a fancy to Dolce and Gabbana 'The One' and Paco Robanne 'Lady Million'. I have decided to go for 'The One' as 'Lady Million' smells too much like the male version, which I love, I just don't want to be smelling like a guy. 'The One' is definitely my type of perfume, its light and delicately sweet with floral hints, and the Boots tester I have got shows that it definitely lasts for a long time, which is highly important.
Got to my mum's had dinner and a lovely time, but for some reason allowed myself to succumb to eating the apple and cinnamon yogurt (lunch) AND some sticky toffee pudding! I then had to leave early because I felt guilty and wanted to go on the treadmill, how dedicated? With this in mind I wanted to do at least 3 miles but after a persistent and painful stitch I had to stop after only 2.2 miles. I am so disappointed. Tomorrow I am going to go on the treadmill when I get up and then  go to Zumba tomorrow evening.  I wanted to go to spin yesterday, but it was all booked up. I was gutted I haven't been able to go for this exact reason for a few weeks now. For those who don't know it is excellent, it is the only exercise that I do that I fully feel as if I have done something and will help me to lose weight, I have had some of my highest losses when I do it that week, I highly recommend)
BLAH. So hopefully tomorrow I can stick to my plan and do everything I need to...




...as if that is going to happen.

Day two.

My grandad loved Johnny Cash, I also used to go around singing 'ring of fire' when I was little. I soon picked up this love, which is why 'walk the line' is one of my favourite films. I have watched it so many times.

Day one.

I love lots of songs, so I would no idea where to start with a favourite. As I do think that 'old' songs need a lot of credit because they were fantastic, especially 80's/90's music. It's such a hard decision. Here you go...

30 day blog challenge

being a bit of a copycat oops, but I wanted to try it  out too!


The 30 day blog challenge. 
Day 01 — Your favorite song 
Day 02 — Your favorite movie
Day 03 — Your favorite television program 
Day 04 — Your favorite book
Day 05 — Your favorite quote 
Day 06 — Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 07 — A photo that makes you happy 
Day 08 — A photo that makes you angry/sad 
Day 09 — A photo you took
Day 10 — A photo of you taken over ten years ago 
Day 11 — A photo of you taken recently 
Day 12 — Whatever tickles your fancy 
Day 13 — A fictional book 
Day 14 — A non-fictional book
Day 15 — A fanfic
Day 16 — A song that makes you cry (or nearly)
Day 17 — An art piece (painting, drawing, sculpture, etc.) 
Day 18 — Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 19 — A talent of yours 
Day 20 — A hobby of yours 
Day 21 — A recipe 
Day 22 — A website 
Day 23 — A YouTube video 
Day 24 — Whatever tickles your fancy 
Day 25 — Your day, in great detail 
Day 26 — Your week, in great detail
Day 27 — This month, in great detail 
Day 28 — This year, in great detail 
Day 29 — Hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days 
Day 30 — Whatever tickles your fancy


(I found this via another blog, which they found via another blog that was uncredited)

Searching for time and space

This may seem really nerdy, I don't know, but for those that have read my past posts will know that I absolutely adore space/star photographs. I think they're amazing. People will also know that for my birthday I am getting the new iPhone. Why wont this combo mix?! I have searched hi and low through Google and cannot find anywhere a space themed case!

I am getting a Cath Kidston case which I think is adorable, the pastel colours look great against the navy background. Also it's a new twist of design by Cath Kidston (whom I absolutely adore beyond belief),which I am loving the print! They have a laptop case also in the same print and a bag, but I already have a matching Cath Kidston bag and laptop case.
Any way, I don't want to have just the one case.
So was thinking of making my own case, but I have no idea where I would start to make the space themed image, I thought perhaps I could do it in the same process that the space/galaxy nails are done; however I wouldn't know what materials I would use to paint the design on.
The search began - again. I stumbled across an article on the Daily Mail which was giving a review with money off of "LikeMyCase.com". I gave the website a browse and I gave it a go.

I picked this image that I found off of Google to try it out and I really like it. I would have liked it even more if I could put a little glitter for the stars, as that could be quite cute, but that isn't an option (boo.) It is the same price as the Cath Kidston case and to be honest I don't want to be spending nearly £50 on just two cases. I think the website is great especially if you want to full customise it by adding personal family/friend photos. You can also upload from their library also.
If anybody knows how I can achieve a space/galaxy/star themed case then please let me know. As I have spent (wasted) so much time and so far have found nothing.

its just another ombre

experimenting with ombre

When I used to blog on Tumblr, I posted about my experimentation with ombre hair. I think because I had dyed my hair previously the bleach made my hair too ginger and basically killed the ends of my hair, because it was way too strong/I left it on too long, who knows. But anyway, I loved the ombre look and  I know it may have dyed its death (do you see what I did there?), it is pretty 'edgy'.

I  first became obsessed with the dip dye look when I stumbled across this image on google. You could say it was love at first sight.You have to admit that the pink and blue is fabulous? I have dark hair so I knew it wasn't going to get the strong a colour, but it did allow me to begin researching the whole ombre trend, which is where I first came across LLYMLRS. So after extensive research and religiously watching LLYMLRS famous vid demo, I tried and somewhat failed. 

This was one of my first posts about ombre:

Inspiration

"I can safely say that I am absolutely besotted with obre style hair. I have researched it so much now and found so many people doing a DIY job. Why not? It's so much cheaper, plus if it goes wrong you can always dye it again and you haven’t wasted too much money. So when I get some pennies together I may give it a go- hey, I may even share my experience on here.

Ombre, yes please!"

LC tweeted this pic

Hey, I gave it a go, it didn't work out to my expectations, but other people have done it and it rocked, so I'm not going to knock the ombre trend. It has to be something if LC (Lauren Conrad) is tweeting about it, right? I think it looks better in blonde hair if you are to add colour, which I wish I could .

I don't have ombre hair at the moment, but you never know what the future may bring...

bake me a cake.

Other than writing, I used to have two main hobbies that I pursued (when I used to have what is known as 'free time'), these were painting and baking. But because of my now hectic lifestyle because of it being my final year at school and the steady increase of deadlines these have both come to a halt.
This week I have been on half term, I also am next week too, so hopefully I hope to do either baking or painting at some point. Painting is pretty inevitable because I have to complete my art and design unit for going back to school, so I would like to give the baking thing a try.
I have no idea what I want to bake, so if anybody has any suggestions it would be great. I think also a part of the reason for me not baking as much as I used to, is because I am on a diet. Boo. Although it will be worth it in the end, hopefully.

it's all apple and cinnamon

Yesterday I popped to Morrisons with my mum so we could get some greek yogurt to use for dinner. We got the greek yoghurt, but also did the usual when shopping: buy things that were no where near being on the list. 
Anyhow, I bought some really delicious apple and cinnamon products. 

Firstly I spotted "Twekkelo Farmhouse Apple & Cinnamon Yogurt" This was yuuuuuuummy! I thought I would have my 'treat' day yesterday, although it's been pretty much treat week. The yogurt is very creamy, not tart, and the apple and cinnamon compot is gorge! It has raisins in it too, which makes the yogurt taste very Autumn/Wintery and reminds me of mince pies! My mum and I demolished the tub without the slightest bit of guilt of it 'destroying our diet'; it wouldn't have done too much damage anyway because it isn't that bad nutritionally. You have to try it!


Next on our trip we were going to purchase some of the tea my mum had been buying lately, as I wanted some for my dad's; however they were completely sold out of Twinings "Orange, Lotus Flower and Green Tea". So my mum suggests that I buy Twinings "Cranberry and Green Tea"; which I am glad I didn't because it when I got back to hers I tried some that she'd bought in and I didn't like it. More to the point, out of the corner of my eye, I spotted Lipton's "Warming Apple and Cinnamon" tea, which I must say is lush!  It is very fragrant and leaves the room smelling lovely, well that's if you like apple and cinnamon. The taste isn't too flowery or overpowering, it is truly scrumptious! When I have made mine I have left the tea bag in, as the tea bag has one of those strings on and I think it tastes better that way.
My mum bought Twinings "Green Tea with Pineapple and Grapefruit", which smells AMAZING. I don't know how I am keen on the taste but it does smell good.

All images were found on google images after typing in the branded name.

nobody said it was easy

I am trying to plan whats happening with friends for my bday, but its just so hard, I have no idea what to do, so as it looms even closer I need to sort it out tonight.
What can I do?
I have a mismatch of friends. I don't know what type of friends to invite, do I invite those that I say "hi" to when I walk passed them, as well as those that mean the most? It's such a hard decision! :(
Where do I go?
I don't know whether to go out for a meal, when what I really want is to pluck up the courage and ask my dad for a few friends to come round to go on just dance, have a take away and maybe a few drinks. As I can't go out to a night club with all of my friends as not all of them are 18/have ID to, it's all very complicate. If I do go out for a meal though, it will be to Nandos (yummmy), where I can have some periperi chips and gorgeous chocolate cakeeeeee......... (can you tell I used to be fat?)

Should I just ask my dad? ljgfhdfgjhdfkgheor

a new beginning

I don't know about anyone else, but I love that Friends has moved over to Comedy Central, it looks so much better in HD. Sorry E4, it's true.

I received my UCAS track letter today, which makes the whole prospect of going to university even more real. 

Lately my diet hasn't been going too well.  BLAH. I'm so disappointed in myself. I was really focused but the last couple of weeks I have just gotten so fed up and I dont know why. I know that I have put on weight too. I want to look good, it just doesn't seem like it's going to happen, or it's going to take way too long. I have set my self a new target of another 1 and a half stone, but I don't know if I am being too ambitious too early or what. 

To top it all off I am ill, not majorly ill, just a normal cold. I am so tired and cannot be bothered, which is not good at all because I have so much school work that I need to do. Thinking about the amount I have to do is making me stressed out!!!!! I have like half a unit of OCR art and design to do for two weeks time, finish my English literature A2 coursework and my English language first draft for my media piece, plus revision. I think that this is what is making me ill, the stress of it all. I have what seems a really weak immune system, because this time last year I was ill an awful lot after being overwhelmed with As levels. 

I know I shouldn't be moaning because there are worse things in life, but hey every English person loves a good vent. I also have Jeremy Kyle and Will and Grace to cheer me up.

1

 I had some time to kill on the way to Bournemouth, so I whipped out my iPod and connected it to the stereo. I never know what songs to pick, because I like so many, it can be hard. I love 'old' songs. I like new ones too, don't get me wrong, but artists such as Snowpatrol are my favourite as they have been around for years and have some amazing songs. Don't get me wrong I like mainstream songs as well, but I am fed up of the pop-py sound that you overwhelmed with, with the underlying tinny sound to coverup the auto tune that has been used. On Monday's I will blog about my favourite albums that I own, as I don't want a really long post with links and what not.  Also I my list may be never ending. Here goes the first post....

Muse- "Blackholes and Revelations"

I relish this album so much. This is 'Starlight' one of my favourite songs from the album, it's just fantastic. To me it is like 'dark' feel good song, if that makes any sense to any one other than myself?

I love that Twilight use muse for their songs, the baseball scene is on the right, it compliments the scene perfectly. This album is amazing, of course you get the odd dead beat song on every album, but this is still a winner for me. I have to say I was disappointed with their album "The Resistance" where I only liked a couple of the songs.

Album list:

Take a Bow

Starlight

Supermassive Black Hole

Map of the Problematique

Soldier's Poem

Invincible

Assassin

Exo-Politics

City of Delusion

Hoodoo

Knights of Cydonia

The Killers- "Sam's Town"

Absolutely brilliant band, I could never fault them, which is why it was hard to pick which album was my fave. It has to be "Sam's Town"  as it's absolutely fantastic. This song is 'Read my mind' and I can't think of any words to describe it, you will have to make your own decision after listening to it.

Another song from the album, 'Bones', which is also another brilliant song. 

Saturday was quite a busy day to be honest,  I went to have a look at Bournemouth uni, then I visited my grandparents.
I LOVE BOURNEMOUTH UNI! It is my number one uni, so I am praying I get an offer. I'm just a bit scared because other than this, I have no work experience that involves writing, which they've mentioned is important to them.

blurb.

Today we had mufty/half day, so me and two of my friends left school early and took a drive to go shopping. (I can't drive myself and I haven't even applied for my provisional yet.)  Well, I can safely say it was one of the most extraordinary experiences of my life. I have been warned on several occasions not to get in said friend's car, as they only just passed las week and people think that they aren't quite a safe driver yet, but I didn't believe the hype. After awkwardly being a 'back seat driver', said friend admitted that I knew more than her AND asked if I could be her driving instructor. Crazy, I know. To be fair she is a good driver, she just needs more confidence, experience and to get used to her clutch! 

I have decided now though that I really want to start driving as I think that I will be more than capable to. So my dad said that if I wanted I could get lessons and what not for my bday, which I am going to get instead of the iphone, because I get my early upgrade in April. Yay me!

It was a more than a good day overall, I had a much needed laugh. I bought my work jeans, the high waisted ones. Sadly atm I look like I have a muffin top. I want to cry. I am going to try and get away with not wearing them until next week end, so I get the chance to burn a few lbs on the treadmill beforehand. I also bought a simple striped top that I had wanted for ages from RI, luckily after waiting patiently it went down to £8 in the sale. 

I noticed that my skin has come up all mottled, and I have no idea why. My stepmother suggested that it might have been from the facial, but it only came up today, so I'm not too sure if it would be or not.  

Going to have a look at Bournemouth uni tomorrow, so I'm going to have to get up early. I'm not too bothered about that as today was my last day at school anyway. 

catch a falling star

just thought I'd share a pic with you, just to show my obsession with space and stars etc... my friends don't really get it, but I just think it's so beautiful that there is something out there as this:

http://www.findatelescope.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/stellar-nebula-cone-nebula-stars-wallpaper.jpg

soz forgot to say...

River Island in store SALE launched today.
Love/Hate how they pay me tomorrow too, it's as if they want me to rinse my wages as soon as I get them! Anyway I shall take a wander up after school as I have a half day, see if I can spot any bargains as well as purchase my work jeans. I have to buy black ones, but I'm not sure if we have the high waisted ones I like in store.

Good things come in fours...

Well I've only gone and done it. UCAS has now been sent. Grown up? Why, no I am feeling more child like than ever. The whole process has made me feel quite ill. I couldn't concentrate at school today I was checking UCAS over and over again to make sure I did not have a 'fraudulent' entry.
Ragdale Hall yesterday was lush though. I needed a day where I could do nothing. Not even think. Just sit, read, eat and sleep (with the odd sauna, steam room and other luxury treatment here and there). GORGE. I got a manicure, where I chose a black/dusky blue/silver colour, which is basically different colour glitter in a nail varnish, I love it! Plus I don't have really fragile 'long' nails. I say 'long' but they weren't long at all, I grew them especially for yesterday.
Regarding my diet, this week has been a thumbs down, I have literally done no exercise apart from a 3.2 mile run the other day and ate junk food. It's my weigh in later, so I'll let you know if it's reflected in my weight. I want to lose about 7lbs before my bday, I have 18 days. It's not looking good.
Also I was speaking to my friend today about what to do for my bday, we came to the decision about asking if I can have a few friends round for drinks. It sounds good, but I am unbelievably scared to ask my Dad if it's okay! So I am not sure what to do. I was thinking about 8 friends and chilling in my garden,  love the idea too, because I am not too keen about having people stroll throughout my house. So I was thinking about asking people I trust to come. Also 8 isn't that many either, it saves inviting loads of people to a meal that I am 'not too sure' to invite.

cotton eyed joe

I was in such a mood today, because I had lost my pendrive, I was endlessly searching around school looking for it, so I decided to put a notice on the screen instead. It got to the end of the day, with still no miraculous arrival, until on the way out of school the receptionist called me over and gave to me! YAY. So so so lucky, I do not have to re-do my percy statement now/ all of my coursework. And my friend text me to say that she has booked our seats for breaking dawn part 1, midnight showing <3

Tomorrow on an even lighter note, I am going to a spa, which is going to be absolute bliss. Especially as it is a pre-18th present from padre y madrastra . I will try and make you incredibly jel of my gorgey day. 

once upon a time

about two years ago I got my hair cut like Daisy Lowe's, minus the colouring. Now I'm so tempted to get it done again but go daaaaaark, the only thing is, is that about 6 weeks ago I got my hair dyed at the hair dressers and it almost cost me £100. So I don't want it to feel like a wasted effort, but I am thinking of just using boxed hair dye after I get it cut.


*I do not own the rights to this image, I just found it on the daisy lowe tumblr (fan base)

dependency

Today at around 14.50 pm my life fell apart. At 14.50 pm I noticed the key to my life as I know it had disappeared. I lost my pen drive. Big deal I hear you cry. It is when it is the only place where all of my coursework has been stored. Not only coursework; revision notes, personal statement (which I re wrote just before I lost it) and pieces for my portfolio etc. I want to cry so badly. As I already mentioned I have a million deadlines for the end of this week, so now that I have lost it all I am back to square one. I spent the afternoon wandering round on a mad frenzy retracing my steps and checking everywhere, but still no where to be seen. This must be some really bad karma, for some unknown thing. 

On an awkward 'plus', today my friend told me she is having a halloween party and were all to bring bits, I have found some amazing recipes especially for cocktails that I am rather keen on trying. Also I have found a costumes to wear too.

If you could see me now 2.0

So my previous if you could see me now post talked about my recent weight loss, so here is a piccy comparison for you!

BEFORE

AFTER

If you could see me now

The last week of term starts tomorrow, it's scary how quickly its all gone! So now I have to prepare all of my first drafts for the end of this week and finalise my much dreaded UCAS. I have left my pen drive at my friend's house when I went there on Friday, so hopefully I am going to go pick it up soon so I can get bits done today, as I have had the weekend off of work and I have nothing at all. YAY LAZY.

If you haven't already, I think that you must purchase Ed Sheeran's album "+", its gorgey to listen to! Its one of those albums that will always cheer you up, the other night I was having trouble sleeping and it got me to sleep no problem. 

Going to Bournemouth uni next saturday, which I am rather excited about visiting their journalism programme.  I have to admit, its quite a trek away so were leaving at around 5/6 am, sleep deprivation, love ya! 

I have been losing weight recently, so far I have lost 29lbs, wooooo! 2 years ago I began to lose weight, but then gradually put it all back on and more when I met my ex. So now, since the split, I am 'reinventing' myself so to speak. I am doing the things that I want to, not what any one else thinks that I should do. I want to look good again, because personally being a size 16/18, was not a good look - I can now get excited about fitting in size 12! I am so happy now, everyone around me keeps mentioning how good I look and I am proud, so a big thanks to Slimming World and the group leader! I still want to lose around 24lbs, so hopefully I will be a size 10, pushing an 8, the thought of that is so exciting. It is going to take a long time, but it will be worth it. This is also why I keep changing my mind about what I want to wear for my bday (slight revenge outfit) but I have literally found the most gorgey playsuit that is in River Island. Its £60, but with discount I think I can justify it. It's not currently in the store I work in, but online they only have a size 18 in, which is no use to me now ;)

p.s for all those that have been reading my blog, the family member's chemotherapy starts this week too. 

the apple doesn't fall far from the tree...

I can say that this is true for the new iPhone launch, as the disappointing slight upgrade from the iPhone 4 was released this evening. 

My much mentioned 18^th birthday is ever looming closer;  however the building anticipation was soon dampened when the iPhone 5 launch was not to be, but instead the iPhone 4s.

I was rather excited and overwhelmed with confusion on whether or not to wait, and  before today should I purchase the 4 or the 5. Today, proved otherwise. Apple decided that it would make my decision for me by only releasing the iPhone 4s. As there are not too many improvements, although Apple are boasting over the 200 more new features; the dual core a5 chip will not have a real advantage to me as I am not an avid gamer. Although the 8mega pixel would be the only upgrade that I would be slightly tempted with.

On the contrary it does mean that I shall be purchasing the Cath Kidston bird phone case for my soon to be iPhone 4!

thoughts

Well as of yet there is no further news about my family member.

I have now got my five choices sorted for UCAS, scary stuff. I want to have my application sent off before the end of next week, so I better get cracking on with finalising my personal statement (which at the moment just screams rubbbisshhhhh do not accept). I hate interviews, but I am hoping I am offered some at least!

I was also told about a writing competition yesterday, which I am contemplating over. I don't know what's holding me back, as I am writing on here with little care, so why can't I just write that article. I will let you know in due course if I do or not, the iPad prize is slightly tempting though. 

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I have been debating for the last few days about whether or not to do this post; however the more I think about it the more I feel like I can, and want to. For those who have read my previous posts, you will know that I have wanted my blog to be predominately fashion based, but again the more I think about it, the more it makes sense to make it more personal and that I should focus on things that are important to me, in my life right now.

 As I was saying, about this post, I was debating on whether or not to do it, as it raises some highly sensitive issues. I do not want to offend by raising any memories that any one has, but this is important as it is the only way that I feel that I can express it right now. Here it goes...

  Did you know that more than one in three people in their lifetime (UK) will be diagnosed with some form of cancer?

  I didn't until I researched it today. On Saturday, I found out that a family member had been diagnosed with lung cancer; ever since its been a downward spiral. Monday, we were informed that it had spread to the liver. The following day we were told it had spread to the bones. 

  Writing, even thinking about 'cancer' is so surreal. Don't get me wrong I have known people to have cancer, but until now, it's never seemed 'real'. Another family member was diagnosed with skin cancer this year. They are currently undergoing treatment, with steroid creams etc. 

  At this time in my life, as well as others, I wouldn't  have dreamt of this. To know someone to be diagnosed with cancer, like others just regarded it as something that happened to other people, not those you know. But people are egocentric at this time in their life. This is not me saying that I, or anyone else for that matter, are self absorbed. However we are all obsessed with what does not matter in life. For example: I love clothes, fashion gives me a buzz; as does writing. It releases me from the days that I am overly stressed with school. Such as trying to get good grades so that I can go to uni, or worrying about what a friend may or may not have said. None of this is important though. What is important is the quality of life we live. To be struck by an illness which is potentially life threatening is quite frankly terrifying, even if it is not you that has been directly diagnosed yourself.

  Nothing else has been discussed as of yet, such as treatment methods, but its just a fact of waiting I suppose.